Communication is Key

I feel like I usually need to have a purpose for writing or at least a topic so I can write more than just what we did in the past week. There has been times in our marriage we didn't understand each other but after being married for 2 years now we have it figured out...well we did until everything changed! During our first year of marriage we learned how to communicate with each other in all the different ways and our own preferences. As we are changing in this new stage in life I feel like some of the things we have to relearn and remember again. Having Claire creates a need for more communication and even though we talk every day there are things about our conversations that get misinterpreted still.

Talking in Text:

Texting is one of the worst ways to have a real conversation and I would tell anyone to avoid serious conversations through texting at all cost. The only reason we text each other anymore is to tell basic information or ask for when the other will be home. There is no way to show real emotion through a text message and trying to interpret what the other person is feeling is a waste of time because I'm wrong more than half the time.

Over the Phone:

While talking on the phone is a step above texting, you should always try to make a serious conversation face to face, or at least a video. When we were separated through 4 hours of driving, a lot of our conversations to tell our feelings were over facetime so we could see expressions. I found that phone calls were a good enough way to share feelings when I was away from him if there wasn't a way to facetime.

Daily Conversations:

Our every day conversations that contain how we vent about our day and ask each other questions are the ones that need the most work. I think also one we will be constantly learning and adapting over our many years together because it is used so often. The dynamic of how we talk to each other changed now that Claire is such a big part of our lives and how we take care of her. When we decide things as parents that need to happen for her they are for her best interest, but sometimes they come out in the wrong way especially if there is a little tiredness or frustration behind the 'request'. Learning how to talk in front of her so she doesn't hear any anger in our disagreements is also something we are working on because we want her to know we lover her and each other.

Weekly Inventory:

This form of communication is the level that created a great connection between the two of us and has helped us understand each other. We started this practice about a month before we were married to share on a deeper level how we felt about everything that was happening to us and when we got married we decided to try having this inventory every week. We first share what we appreciate about the other person, especially specific instances in the past week that we have noticed. After sharing the positives, we talk about what was hard for us during the week or if there was something the other person did that hurt feelings. The most important part about this discussion is to share ideas of how to make life easier for each other knowing exactly how they feel about the previous week.

We will be able to learn more and more as we use our communication to raise our beautiful baby girl and try to show her an example of how to communicate well. She hasn't started talking yet but soon enough her goos and whines will start being words and I hope she will learn positive attribute from us.